A conversation with a guy at work about a girl named Hope reminded me of a girl named Faith that I once dated in my teenage years. I was overcome by old feelings when I thought about how wonderful it was to date this girl. First off, she had enormous breasts - wonderful, beautiful, big breasts! She was also petite and very pretty. It was purely chance that I was dating such a sexy girl - she was outside my league and outside my normal crowd.
 
But she was wonderful. Sex was something strange to me back then - and it was excitting to be with a woman and think that I might actually have sex with this woman (if you contrast that with modern woman, on a date you pretty much know your going to have sex).
 
Those days were special - just the shear anticipation of sex with these beautiful women was enough to know you were alive.
 
It's been quite a while since I've had sex. The girl I'm with is not very sexual. I find myself dreaming about sex with women I meet.

When you believe you have a future, you think in terms of generations and years. When you do not, you live not just by the day — but by the minute. It is far better that you remember me as I was — in my heyday as a best-selling author — than the wild-eyed wreck who returned from Louisville... Each breath is becoming difficult for me to take — the anxiety can be compared to drowning in an open sea. I know that my actions will transfer some of this pain to others, indeed those who love me the most. Please forgive me. Forgive me because I cannot forgive myself.