"To what use am I putting my soul? What relation have I to this part of me which they call the ruling reason? And whose soul have I got anyhow? The soul of a child? Of a youth? Of a woman? Of a tyrant? of a domestic animal? Of a wild beast?"

Marcus believed we should be better than wild beasts - animals acting on our simplest needs; food, sex, security, etc. He seemed to think we can escape these primitive needs. I have my doubts.

Do you think anyone ever has? I wonder what that person would be like - perhaps removed from the need for a nice house, nice car, sex, etc. This person may have no interest in you or I - they'd have no need for interaction... perhaps.

I suppose I don't imagine we ever escape the primitive side. It would have been great to debate this with Marcus - it would be a lively debate perhaps. But still, why does it seem like we are so much more primitive - trying to fuck everyone we can (do you sense frustration in my writings)?

A while back I looked on match.com for someone my age that was single - I still long for a relationship or even marriage and kids. While I was there I noticed many attractive women boast about their ability to lure young men into the sack. Part of me laughed - I was once a young man and I can assure you it was not hard to lure me into the sack... or any of my friends - we loved to fuck older women. Part of me felt sadness - that women my age seemed even more primitive and "wild beast-like" than younger women I date now.

Don't get me wrong... I think about sex - I long for intimate contact and fantasize about making out with an attractive women. But when I find myself thinking about the physical aspects of a woman above her being I disengage - it's mostly because women to have sex with are easy and abundant... but ultimately unsatisfying (should I have said "disappointing"?).

So where do I go from here? Should I pursue fucking women like a ferrile animal? Will this ultimately lead me to happiness?